Got into a discussion today with a co-worker about raising kids today, and the different parenting styles that people have. I mentioned that I hold my children responsible for their actions, he said my kids must think i'm to strict. So I came home, talked it over with my son, he said, nope I dont' think so, you were more strict when i was younger than you are now. I think thats a growing up thing, and due to the fact he's making more and more the right choices in life. Anyways my co-worker figured that my punishments were harsh when he is caught doing something that he shouldn't be. Now for those that don't know my son is 16, in grade 12 and actually a decent kid. We've had our run ins, and he's been busted a couple of times for some really stupid shit, ie: staying out all night drinking. Was he punished, hell yes, a month grounding. Will give him credit, he did the crime he did the time without to much complaining. If its something major like that, damn rights they get it hard, punishement wise that is, a month grounding the first time, and 3 months the second time, so far there hasn't been a second time. May sound harsh, but it works. I hold him responsible for what he does, and he knows that there are things that i will accept and things i won't, and the things i won't he knows better than doing. Not to say he hasn't, just saying that he knows if he's busted for it, shit will hit the fan. have seen some parents just brush it off, oh its a phase, or well thats just them. Bullshit, sorry but not here to be my sons bestest friend, am here to show him how to act like an adult and take responsibility for himself. I feel that at no matter what age, kids need to know they have rules, and boundries that they better not cross, if they do, they suffer the consequences of it. Been thru this recently within my own family , where two differing parenting styles led to many fights. Sorry but I won't change my way for anyone, and if a child feels they can talk to me like i'm their personal bitch, damn rights they are going to be punished. By accepting it, your just saying that its acceptable behavior, and they will continue to do it. Making them unaccountable for their actions is like giving them a liscence to do and act anyway they want, and while it might be tolerable for a while, people soon get tired of it, and no longer want anything to do with them. Kids arent' stupid, they know what they can get anway with and what they can't, but be a responsible adult, and teach them boundries, what is acceptable behavior and what isn't, before they are 16, and pregnant, and/or in jail, because as an adult, they will be held responsible, and that reflects on the parenting.

Ever notice how relationships can get screwed up by one simple thing, and its usually called the truth. The concept is an easy one but in reality, its alot harder to practice. Done a lot of things and have said alot of things in my life that I haven't been very proud of, have hidden things from a loved one, and have said some nasty things to loved ones. Have I ever lied to a loved one, yes, and not just the little white lies either. Have been taking a good hard look at my life lately, and have started to deal with the deep down inside shit that we all have. Alot of truths and alot of unanswered questions have come out of it. With the truth, comes the resposibility for your actions, and suffering the consequences of those actions. Have I done wrong in my life, OMFG, dont' think i'd ever admit to how much, but is it my fault, yes it is. Thats the difference, I know what portion of the blame i'm willing to take, and i'll suffer the consequences of my actions. Some people tho, its everyone elses fault, never an of their actions that have led to whats happened. These are the people that never have done anything wrong, its always someone else fault, and in their heads justify their actions saying well. they made me do that. Sorry, everyone is responsible for their own actions or inaction whatever the case may be. To justify your lies and never seeing that you have done anything wrong, is passed on from generation to generation. A father or mother that can't accept the responsibilty for their actions passes that onto their children, nope its not my fault i didn't do it. What is wrong in society when a child has no idea of boundries and accepts no consequences for their actions, they grow up being unaccountable to anyone and never thinking its wrong.